The Time is Now!

Over the past couple weeks on the girl talk blog they’ve been doing a series of posts on single woman finding the best deals of the single season. “Best deals” meaning all the different opportunities that we should be taking advantage of. Deals that bring glory to God and will help prepare us for the season of marriage and motherhood.

In today’s post Janelle Bradshaw wrote, “Bringing up children, showing hospitality, caring for the afflicted—these aren’t things the godly woman does one time, like a community service requirement. Good works are what she is giving her life, energy, time, and heart to. Good works are what she is all about.”

Have you ever heard anyone say, “My life will start once I get married”? Sad, but true, I’ve heard that saying many times and that is the mentality of many single woman today. I myself have been tempted to think that way before, but by God’s grace He kindly corrected my thoughts. My single friends, the time is NOW, it is THIS very day that we are to be preparing for the time when Lord willing we will be wives and mothers. Being a submissive wife and nurturing mother is not something that will happen overnight. It takes time and work! One way we can test how submissive we are is by our response to our dad or other godly leaders in our lives. The way we respond to them will most likely be the way we respond to our future husbands. Are we loving towards our siblings or children in our churches?

Are good works what you’re all about? Let me encourage you to take a step back and look at all the ways you’ve been serving or where you need to pick up the slack. Writing things out always helps me. Is there a family you know in need of a babysitter or a mom who needs an afternoon off? It doesn’t take much time… Let’s think and then take action! Let us not wait! Let’s seek every opportunity we can to do good works!

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you can.” -John Wesley

Singleness and Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day or should I say Single Awareness Day is tomorrow….

As a single girl, I’m fully aware of the temptation to be discontent in the season of singleness on Valentine’s Day. Tomorrow let’s not be tempted to have self pity attitudes but think of ways we can serve others. Maybe this is a day to bless your grandfather, dad, or brothers…Maybe even babysit for a family with young children. This season of singleness if EXACTLY where God has called us to be and until (Lord willing) “Mr. Right” does come along let’s continue to serve Christ to the best of our abilities!

Below are two different blog posts that two of my very godly girl friends recently posted on their blogs. May I encourage all my single sisters in Christ to read them and then take some time to evaluate your heart in preparation for this Valentine’s Day….

Janelle Leach
Jenn Romanski

True Beauty Part 3: Adorned in Modesty

1 Timothy 2:9-10- “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”

Here Paul is addressing that women in the church should not look exactly like the ungodly women in the world. Women in the church are to be different: a light to unbelievers. They should stand out not because of their revealing clothing, but because of their modest heart and dress. As women we are called to dress in a way that is not “distracting” to men in their pursuit to grow in godliness.

Here are some wise words from John MacArthur:

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? It is to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.”

“Good works” are to be what’s most noticeable about a woman who professes godliness. Not our wardrobes, but our good works—an observable lifestyle of serving others. This I believe is the appropriate adornment for women who profess to be Christians. And it is an evidence of the transforming effect of the gospel. It may mean more time sacrificing on behalf of our families and local church.

All respectable apparel is the result of a godly heart, where modesty and self-control originate. Our wardrobes are a public statement of our personal and private motivation and convictions. If we have a desire to profess godliness, we should be concerned with cultivating the virtues of modesty and self-control. Our adorning should be: “the hidden person of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:4)”

“Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress. What is the intent of your heart in purchasing clothes to wear? Does a humble heart and a servant’s heart dictate your wardrobe and appearance? Is your shopping informed and governed by modesty and restraint? Or is your dress motivated by a desire for attention and approval from others? Does your style reflect a lack of self-control? There’s an inseparable link between your heart and your clothes. Your clothes say something about your attitude. If they don’t express a heart that is humble, that desires to please God, that longs to serve others, that’s modest, that exercises self-control, then change must begin in the heart.” –C.J. Mahaney

Let’s be one’s that are constantly evaluating our hearts and motives. Let me encourage you to find someone in your life to ask about your wardrobe. If you aren't married with a husband to ask or don’t have a dad or brother you feel would be helpful to you, then find a trustworthy lady in your Church that will give you an honest assessment of your wardrobe. If we truly want to change we will invite others to help us! Modesty is a statement of humility expressed in our wardrobes!

Today let’s ask:

1. What is most eye catching about me, my stylish clothes or my character?

2. Does my life reflect an observable lifestyle of serving others?

I pray you found this little series to be helpful and encouraging. That was my desire in doing these posts! Because we live in a fallen world and temptations arise daily, I am not an "expert" at anything I shared. Just like every other woman in the world, I need to check my heart motives daily.

True Beauty Part 2: A Heart Check

1 Peter 3-4- “Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

“A gentle and quiet spirit is an inner disposition of humble contentment and quiet tranquility rooted in an unwavering trust in God and His purpose.” –Jeff Purswell

Carolyn Mahaney has summed up a gentle and quiet spirit as “a steadfast peace because of a steadfast trust in God.”

“With God at the center- like the ‘sun,’ satisfying a woman’s longing for beauty and greatness and truth and love- all the ‘planets’ of food and dress and exercise and cosmetics and posture and countenance will stay in their proper orbit.” –John Piper

To all my dear single friends, we have only ONE person to please: The Lord should be the ONLY object of our pursuit for beauty. (1 Cor. 7:34) All our thoughts, motives, and actions related to beauty should be for the eyes of ONE and ONE only. Of course this will change once married, then we will have two to please: God and our husbands. Right married ladies? =)

“Pure devotion to God will produce an appropriate concern for physical appearance. A godly woman will seek to present an outward appearance that honors God and attracts others to her character. The woman who trusts God with her looks, makes her “look” more beautiful” -Carolyn Mahaney

The question I would ask today is are you dwelling on the looks of your outward appearance in a complaining and ungrateful way or are you trusting and thanking God for the body He has given to you (as a gift) for your good and His glory? We have been bought with a price…so let us glorify God through our bodies! (1 Cor. 6:20)

The woman who follows God’s beauty regimen will truly become beautiful!

True Beauty Part 1: God's Definition of Beauty

Over the next couple days I’m going to share some on the topic of beauty, what it should look like in God’s eyes. Before I begin I'd like to share about someone who has greatly effected my life in the area of cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit. Over many years my mom has taught numerous women on Biblical feminity, in particular her daughters. She has not only taught what true beauty should look like, but displays it daily inside our home. Anything I've shared below is all a result of her teaching. Mom, thank you for the example you are of a Titus 2 woman and for having a heart that displays the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. I can’t imagine where I’d be in my relationship with the Lord if it wasn’t for you! Thank you!

Proverbs 31:30- “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

“Physical beauty does not deliver as advertised. It does not produce the happiness and success that the beguiling voices in our society promise. Our culture puts forth a false standard of beauty and a false message about beauty, but ultimately the wickedness already resident in the human heart is what motivates us to believe such lies and pursue them.” -Carolyn Mahaney

We are instructed out of Romans 12:2 not to be conformed to the fallen world we live in. We need to ask ourselves, have we been prone to cultivate the world’s portrait of beauty or God’s portrait of beauty? “Nowhere in the Bible are women instructed to wish for, ask for, or strive for physical beauty. Instead, God’s Word warns us of the futility and deceitfulness of such a portrait.”- CM

1 Peter 3:3-5 tells us that our beauty “should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”

God’s definition of beauty stands out much greater than how our culture defines beauty. Our culture defines beauty by how we look on the outside. God defines beauty by how we look on the inside. God’s agenda for beauty is one that we can all attain if we respond to His work on the cross for us and then notice His grace in our lives. This beauty is one of great worth! God encourages women to cultivate a beauty that will NEVER fade and will only grow more attractive with the passing of time, a beauty that is only attractive in His eyes.

“A woman who cultivates inner beauty; who fears God and lives to serve others makes a difference in people’s lives. Her inner beauty makes a lasting impact on the lives she touches. Godly, inner beauty makes an indelible mark on the lives of others and glorifies God. The way we think about and attend to our personal appearance is really a mirror of our hearts. By reflecting either godly motivations or selfish motivations, we reveal whether our priority is to cultivate inner beauty or outer beauty.” -CM

Here are some questions I‘ve asked myself and would challenge you to do the same today:

1. Do I spend more time daily caring for my personal appearance than I do in my Bible study, prayer, and worship?
2. Do I dress immodestly or with the intent of drawing attention to myself, or do I always dress in a manner that pleases God? (The first two questions are provided from Carolyn Mahaney)
3. When people look at me do they see someone that makes a lasting impact on others?
4. Do I worry more about my outward appearance or serving others?
5. Do I make an indelible mark on the lives of others?
6. Is my outward appearance an idol in my life?

The Proverbs 31 Daughter

Recently on the girl talk blog they’ve been doing a series of posts on the Proverbs 31 women.

Through the posts I’ve been reminded of what my call as a daughter and young lady is to be. I’ve heard of many young ladies viewing this passage of scripture as one that is only geared toward a wife and mother. I can think that, but knowing my own sinful self I don’t think that cultivating a heart of a Proverbs 31 women is going to happen immediately on the day I become a wife and mother. This is something that takes a lot of practice! I know this, simply because of the examples I've had growing up in a Church full of godly women and the example I've had displayed every day in my home through my mom. Though I’m still in a season of singleness and am not a wife or mother yet, I do believe that as a daughter, I am called to be a portrait of some of the roles that the Proverbs 31 women displays. Not in the way I will serve and relate to my own (Lord willing) future husband or children, but in the way I relate to my dad as his daughter.

The Bible teaches in Ephesians 5 that wives are to submit to their husbands, as to the Lord and in Ephesians 6 it teaches that children are to obey their parents in the Lord. I believe that my call as a daughter is to submit to my father and obey all that he asks of me until (Lord willing) he hands me off to my future husband. Just as I am to obey the commandments that God has set out for His children, I am to submit to and obey my own father. Carolyn Mahaney writes: “We read that the woman was created to be her husband’s helper; (Genesis 2:18) then in 1 Corinthians 11:9 Paul writes that man was not created for woman, but woman for man. In Titus 2 we find that the list of instructions for the younger women begins and ends with their relationship to their husbands. Proverbs 31:12- “She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life. And you do not know what the Lord has planned for your future. Your doing good to your husband could be the very means God uses to soften his heart toward you and toward Himself.”

Everywhere the word “husband” was inserted I believe that the word “father” could be there as well. God has ordained that fathers are to be the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the Church. (Ephesians 5:23) Personally in my life, my dad has ALWAYS known what was/is best for me. Even though I don’t always realize it, in the end he is always right!

Here are the top three things that I try to remember as a daughter (through my moms example) when striving to serve and submit to my dad:
1. HELP my Proverbs 31 mom in all her daily tasks of serving my dad and family
2. COMMUNICATE to him that I respect and honor him
3. LISTEN when he gives instruction because he always knows what’s best


With all that said, please know that I’m not trying to place condemnation on anyone. This is something that the Lord has been showing ME. I'm definitely not perfect at any of the things I said. Know that there are many days that I fail to respect my father as the Bible calls me to do. With all that is going on in my family right now, I know my dad is in need of extra honor and respect and he most definitely DESERVES it! I give all the glory to God! It is only by His sustaining grace upon my life that I can say what I’ve said!